Pry My Nerves Out Let Them Bleed.

Humans are born relationship creatures, as much as i’m an introvert, i still long to be in a community.

However so, which ever community you set foot in, everyone demands a portion of you. I cant stand this, even some Christians do. Every community demands a certain treasure that you keep, no matter how brief the relationship establishment, once a tie is drawn, everyone is in it together. I cant say that this is completely disruptive, like they say, friends share burdens and adds joy.

Limitations of the fantasy; time has never seized to irate my nerves again. We cant befriend everyone, yet everyone wants to befriend everyone else- We all desire help from everyone yet we cannot give help to everyone. Being crude, we are weighed down by ministry, on the brighter note, we are living for core issues. We cant spend every moment to commute with every being that we meet.

The weight we carry is Jesus’ title, we cant allow the flame to be under blankets and drawers, we have to carry the flame around us. The activities that we actively participate often marks a distance between the world and Jesus. It suddenly becomes, if I’m a Christian, I cant become your friend.

People who i used to roam around a lot while they were still running with us, after they left, it seems we are unable to even withstand a conversation. The idealistic barrier tears us apart. Friends who i used to roam around with before becoming Christian, becomes lesser. It seems, the higher the leader, the less friends. Lonely leaders. We certainly do have much lesser time to spend, this is undeniable. 

However, the quality of friends we keep, are incomparable. On the other hand, after glancing blogs and reminiscing over a series of events, i have realized that honestly, many Christians have faced relationship issues. Not BGR, just normal friends. Previous friends have felt that they’ve been left alone. I cant entirely say that its this person’s fault, but somehow, they blame the God we believe in resulting in such a consequence.

I’m utterly abraded.

Have Christians, become a total new being.

Vexation

Midsummer night’s dream is a really nice book, once you get through the language bearer, which is ruthlessly unpleasant, annoying when u have to reiterate whatever they say. But its a nice book, when they talk in poems, love poems, seems intriguing, at least to me.

Nerd approach at kap.

i did my usual thing, started with bio, tried to complete 2 bio chapters which will be planned to finish by sunday. However midway through my mind started going semi alert, went down, grabbed a whole bunch of sugar sticks, consumed everything, and u get a……SUGAR RUSH!

i was really really really annoyed, vexed, angry, upset, that i couldnt finish 2 chapters before my tuition and spent 2 hours on a chapter. Annoyingly unproductive but also disrupted my plan. Terribly annoyed i almost wanted to shout “f” when i turned page after page when it seems like the chapter was endless.

Sigh, when you’re angry at something, you see the value in it.

I belong to Jesus echoes with my heartbeat

Amative

I hate sin.

Yet love it.

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Target.

6As for EOY.

Of which 2 subj has never seen light in A

Bio

E math

Ironically i aced A math before, like what i say, A math is easier than E math.

Chinese and SS will wait for God’s blessing..hahaha..no lurh, just concentrate and go progressively=D. Intends to pass chinese and B SS.

i got F9 for SS so yeahh..

Chinese i just scraped pass, hoping to do the same..which shldnt be the case, but alright, studies dont take an overnight achievemnt, progressive hardwork, esp language.

I belong to Jesus

Basics

Enlighten me,

The key purpose of parents.

The purpose that doesnt overlap those of a shepherd, Ministry leader, or pastor, or God himself.

Help.

Shocking Truths

Y’know they always say, we become who we mix with. I’m in complete disregard for that.

I believe the people we mix with do change us a little, but, i am certain that self based principles stand regardless.

It was only then, when i realized how much, the person beside us, could actually change the future that was held firmly in our hands. Terribly annoyed and irked by the power of relationships.

yet, in awe.

Behind Closed Doors

The state of Christianity that we should be is, doomed.

We should not have our own privacy.

We should not have our own possessions.

We should not have our own time.

We should not even have our own minds.

We should have nothing.

But we must have our God ; creator of everything

Are you ready to be a Christian?

I belong to Jesus

Foresight

I have yet to look deeply into your eyes, to see what you see, to know what you know, and finally, to learn.

Resolving predicaments

Human’s most difficult problems; problems which are difficult towards humans, other than women of course.jk!

(i’m really just kidding alrites..i love people=D)

Ruthless endeavour

Studied at changi airport. Burger king over there is over overly priced. I mean, at PS its already overly priced, and Changi airport, they added 50cents or something. Crazy price.

It was a fruitful study time. I completed my e maths 3 paper homework. In the night. At coffee bean. i sat down, feeling a tad lethargic already, got up, pinched up a ten bill and paid for an ice mocha. Yeah, it aint cheap, but it lasted me throughout the study time till i completed everything.

Then when we moved to macs. I dont really like moving around. And the crappy smell, and crammy space, but we moved because of natalie, which i shant elaborate further on the incident. Just take it as, we moved for a greater purpose.

while moving around i got pushed around in the trolley. Which was enjoyment for me despite my age i guess..hahaaha..but i’m still young, arghh..forget it. Issac gave us his large drink, and i gobbled it down, like mad..hahahahha..cause i assumed that he didnt want it anymore. So that gave me extra boost till 3am. I did nothing but tried to sleep at macs.Which was impossible because of the crammy space and disgusting chairs. I’m sorry, i’m anti macs.

Then heres the climax, david hoe approached me. I mean, not in the gay fashion, he wanted me to change money with him…hahahahha..jk, he just wanted to learn the things we done well in Central D. And we had this mini interview with his sheep and i sitting at macs. All of them prowled forward to listen. whats more, one of his sheep openly placed his handphone there as if i’m a booboo who doesnt know its there to record me..it was then i dwelled upon the incident. It was just a casual remark to aaron, i want to talk to someone. He was blogging. The girls were occupied. I had nothing to do. Not that i couldnt continue with my tys just that i didnt want to. And God used my time so effeciently over this period of time in Changi. We must acknowldege the fact that there were others in central D, namely, the “prestigious” xanthe ang, and the bimbo ren ting were all open, vaccant. Probably its by accident, erm, i dont know, But what if it was God planned. Means whatever i said, would actually change the entire state of David Hoe’s group. And i was used. I mean, upon the fact that i’m a pretty new blooded CL, okay, not too new, but i dont have like super testimonies of changed lives and such. I just, had myself, my group, and God. I had no past glory, all i’m living for, is the future. Not that i could dwell on any of my past Glories cause i dont have spectacular ones. But God used me? Strange it seems.

I havent seen myself yet, the true me. I’m basing everything of what i know about myself. Yet i’m still unsure of the potential within. I believe its because, i havent acknowledge of what others view me. I havent been around people enough. That myself can never be complete, without you.

And david hoe, i’m still thinking of the chance to hook you or your sheep and probe them along with my four sheeps and gang you.=X

Ablaze

Hope Brisbane’s  youth ministry.

I chance upon a shooting star. I’m not too sure if its one. but all i know is that i saw a really bright white light moving really really fast, and then disappear. It all happened in a second though. But, oh wells, its a great spectrum.

Lunch was, awesome.

I sat on the table, with shirley sitting infront of me. I’m pretty fine with that. I mean, yeah, since by ratio chris and torch are people i know : people i’m not too close with, lisa and shirley. But oh wells. 2:2, its okay.

Then when we started to get our food. Dennis strolled in. Charlene too. So i’m like..WOhh..is this shirley’s dmm or smth. And i’m the 15 year old newb lurh.. So lunch was with the spiritual giants was, accommodating however.

And everyone said, “You’re Fifteen”. and of course in disbelief of my height. And in envy of my weight. hahaha=D.Its rare a chance you’d get to sit down with them, not to speak, have lunch together. And these are people who are leaders, and its obvious, just by their speech, how they portray their message across.

day2 of my hand.This looks like resident evil’s reborn lurh. Apparently it bled while i slept.

similarities?

we’re all skinned alive.

Differences?, MINE BLEEDs, his(it) is for his growth..urgh, i never knew i would use this praying mantis which i took a photo of near my house, so hahaha..nice rightt!!