Pry My Nerves Out Let Them Bleed.

Humans are born relationship creatures, as much as i’m an introvert, i still long to be in a community.

However so, which ever community you set foot in, everyone demands a portion of you. I cant stand this, even some Christians do. Every community demands a certain treasure that you keep, no matter how brief the relationship establishment, once a tie is drawn, everyone is in it together. I cant say that this is completely disruptive, like they say, friends share burdens and adds joy.

Limitations of the fantasy; time has never seized to irate my nerves again. We cant befriend everyone, yet everyone wants to befriend everyone else- We all desire help from everyone yet we cannot give help to everyone. Being crude, we are weighed down by ministry, on the brighter note, we are living for core issues. We cant spend every moment to commute with every being that we meet.

The weight we carry is Jesus’ title, we cant allow the flame to be under blankets and drawers, we have to carry the flame around us. The activities that we actively participate often marks a distance between the world and Jesus. It suddenly becomes, if I’m a Christian, I cant become your friend.

People who i used to roam around a lot while they were still running with us, after they left, it seems we are unable to even withstand a conversation. The idealistic barrier tears us apart. Friends who i used to roam around with before becoming Christian, becomes lesser. It seems, the higher the leader, the less friends. Lonely leaders. We certainly do have much lesser time to spend, this is undeniable. 

However, the quality of friends we keep, are incomparable. On the other hand, after glancing blogs and reminiscing over a series of events, i have realized that honestly, many Christians have faced relationship issues. Not BGR, just normal friends. Previous friends have felt that they’ve been left alone. I cant entirely say that its this person’s fault, but somehow, they blame the God we believe in resulting in such a consequence.

I’m utterly abraded.

Have Christians, become a total new being.

To God be the Glory

y’know this commonly used phrase are always placed in small fonts and sometimes, cliche meanings. Fairfield is no difference. Just check out the banners outside, not that i wish to bring down fairfield’s entirety of  a Good school, but i cannot allow God’s name to look small.

So, instead of the real basis that God’s the glory, some how the silver awards and gold awards are the one that shines, Why not God. A little perplexed over it, but, oh wells. Schools are schools, it is a profitable organization to a certain extent, just under shady clouds.

Speaking of clouds, I was informed by my teacher that my hair was long and there might be an attire check on thursday in the morning when we we’re confined to the parade square. So i was like, heck, i studied so freaking hard and the school is gonna shave my hair, what justice is this. In the End, trusting in Faith, Nothing.

I went home, having the thoughts of cutting my hair, and dozed off on my bed. Sleeping pass 11pm for a month drains physical strength dramatically, and possibly developing caffeine reliances, a tad cautious now. Didnt cut my hair, i thought, i’d deserve a good rest, and God thinks so too.

The next day would be the attire check, for certain. Skies clear, no hint of disruptions of devious plot by the school. Within seconds, clouds zoomed across the horizons, removing almost all hints of light, it poured!=no attire check!

Skies cleared, as quickly as the clouds came. How Great is our God.

Yeah i’ll cut my hair over the weekends, these are the little testimonies i have, follow me in this as i follow Christ, Faith.

Average

Dont just be Average.

Dont compare with the Average.

Dont conform to the Average.

Because we’re not an Average kid

We are Christians. Take a stand.

Be Outstanding not Average

pweety owwangge.=D

Conspiracy

If Christianity is a religion, its the worst one any religion offers. c’mon, name me a religion that doesnt require offerings.

One man can never serve Two masters

allow this to trigger the memory lane.

I believe that a life is too much a waste to live for oneself, yet too much to live for everything else.

lets see how far we’ve come.

3 words.

outrun, outsprint, outlast.

Christianity is a race, we run.

Christianity is a race against time, we sprint.

Christianity is a commitment, We last.

He is no fool to give up what he cannot keep to gain what he cannot loose.

Have i left somethings TOO aside that it seems, wrong?

Anger Management

If you know me well, i really do not flare up oftenly. No matter what, i’d forgive you. Most of the time.

I was blown to my top when “is this what Yhope Teaches you”.

I really wanted to pick up my chair and smash it into her face. Note, its a girl. And yes, i did not.

Just because i put my leg on the chair infront of me to rest since no one uses it she has to make such remarks. There was so much tension in me. I could have just flared up. But yes, i thought of a million things.

just when i wanted to put it down

“is this what Yhope Teaches you”

it triggered rebellious emotions. I continued to put my leg there.

more  unpleasant  comments entered the arena.

It boiled so much in me then i wanted to stand up on my feet and unleash everything i’ve got.

“just put your leg down”

Ian’s coaxing comment just moved my legs unintentionally.

I worked it out that if i flared up, there wasn’t much to gain. and i’ve learned, Girls no matter how good they seem on the outside, however good they used to be, wait till you’ve seen them in true colours, before deciding anything. Perhaps this is what Zachary meant by serving God alongside one another.

Miss Ng crazy standards alarmed me. Just because i did question 9 in one step answers she wasnt elated over the fact and got me to stand. Indeed it seem like a small issue, but i didnt know why i had it burning in me to yell back.

It was then when she casually pointed out each and everyone of our mistakes. Which made me even more furious. I wasn’t wrong, my answers were right. Just because i read a question wrongly, she has to embarrass me in front of a class for a wrong i did not do.

However the intensity of the anger deep within me, flaring up on the teacher=gg.

You’ll never win a teacher. No matter what. They’ll have the final laugh.

And i thought about it, because not by boasting, I really really dont get angry often. The most is just irritated, but never furious.

And i deduced that anger was because i had Faith in something.

i used to be not angry at anything. Even if teacher scolded me or people making remarks of anything, i’d brush it aside. And because of Christianity, i begin to put faith in more things. In more things i get angry over.

Theres two ways to counter anger.

Love everything, or hate everything.

otherwise, put anger aside.

Central D is victorious

Perhaps everyone already know, Central D is victorious unless you’re oblivious to the alarming nicks.

Lol, i took photos of clique here part 1 and 2 during worship, the high atmosphere time, but didnt on flash, coz if i did confirm tio kan alr..but anyway..yeah.

I was rather intrigued by why hands are raised only during the chorus and hands are down when chorus ends. I mean..hmm…

I was enraged today. By how “christians” diminish this faith to such odium. “We face pressure when we go church, when we serve in church. People expect us to serve. And if we don’t, people bug us to serve which adds to our pressure”. As much as i wanted to seal their mouths for eternity, i put across certain points which probably stumbled a few.

If you were me, what would you do?

You can say i’m overly sensitive on such stuff, because i have to agree on that. Many of times i flare up because my parents make casual remarks, which i shouldn’t have. But these are just the few things i’ll never go down without a fight. But i have realized to put down anger is far greater than proving myself right. Because, there isn’t a point in proving that i’m right.